Patricia Bunin: Midnight kitchen rituals reveal the cost of unfinished tasks

Patricia Bunin says she now stands at her kitchen sink at odd hours, half asleep, to wash dishes or load a dishwasher. She describes the routine as a necessity driven by anxiety rather than a love of cleaning. Bunin notes that while the ritual is meant to settle her mind, it actually keeps her awake.

The habit began as a way to manage the fear of leaving tasks unfinished. Bunin explains that she worries about the sensation of using dirty dishes in the morning. She likens the compulsion to drinking warm milk, but points out that the cleaning process has the opposite effect on her energy levels. The routine covers everything from a full day's worth of plates to a single teacup used for raisin toast.

Bunin decided to test whether she could modify the behavior. She set a new rule for herself: wash the main kitchen dishes before drinking warm milk, but allow herself to eat a snack and watch the news in bed. She acknowledges that combining warm milk with the 11 p.m. news is a risky strategy for staying calm.

On a recent cold night, Bunin warmed a blueberry muffin and a cup of Ovaltine. She moved to the bedroom and took sips of the drink to counter the intensity of the news broadcast. She was close to falling asleep when she noticed a small blue and white china plate on her night table. The plate held crumbs from the muffin.

Bunin imagined the plate questioning her about leaving it there for the night. She admitted she was considering the idea. She then walked back to the kitchen to finish the Ovaltine. She plans to attempt the new routine again in a few weeks.

Bunin maintains that the ritual provides a sense of completion in a life filled with unfinished tasks. She suspects she would enjoy the process more if she did not feel forced to do it. Her current email is patriciabunin@sbcglobal.net and her website is Patriciabunin.com.